I could cry.
Waiting on the washing machine that I thought I'd turned on (but hadn't due to the water being off for the whole day...) has given me extra time to think about littlie, again.
I really could cry for her. Having been told "daddy will end up in an old people's home" at the age of eight (no excuses for the ten and twelve year old either), and only finding out a couple of weeks ago (because of their moods within the house when daddy's not home) has just been the dotting of the i's and the crossing of the t's for me.
She's a beautiful little girl (I know they're mine and I'm supposed to say this, but all three of mine are beautiful - hubby's looks have rubbed off on them, my little tiddlypops), she really is. Blonde, blue eyes, slightly built (she's under four stone and is nine years old. She can wear knickers for three to four year olds) and she's tall (again, thanks to daddy's dna) and she is truly a shining light.
Why is it that people don't think about what they say. Why is it that they can say what they want, when I try so hard to filter what they hear?
She has a "friend" at school calling her fat. There is no fat on her body. She's an active little girl who never stops. She's so tired sometimes that she can't sleep. She doesn't always eat until she's full because she worries about being fat (my dna... guilt, enormously - no pun intended), and she's lovely.
Now her hair is falling out, and now it's obvious. She told her proper friends at the weekend. They were all lovely about it. She simply said to them that she has so much to worry about. The other two show their emotions like a bottle of pop. Their anger is like the bottle of pop being shaken. When the pop fizzes over that's their anger being released. Littlie doesn't fizz over. She keeps it inside. She explained to her friends that losing her hair is her "fizz".
She's nine and so wise. She's caring and thoughtful and worries about other people's feelings. I want her to fizz over, but she keeps it in. She's worried about how other people would feel if she did, and now her hair is falling out. My beautiful little princess, with her husky voice and her beautiful cornflower blue eyes and wide smile that lights up a room.
It makes me angry that other people thinking that they're doing "good" can have such a detrimental effect on such a little girl who does nothing but make people smile. Shame on them.