My apologies.

Hello. It's been what seems like an absolute age since I've written my daily ramblings (about ten days I think), and I apologise for that. I had "the wall" come crashing towards me and it's been a bit all over the place here.

I've dusted myself down again, I think, and I've had a few days to think about how it's all gone wrong, for me anyway - he always seems fine when I hit the wall.

I was feeling a little down anyway and in a conversation that I had with a family member I was told that a psychic had told her that "we're together, but we're not together, but it isn't an affair". BAM. That was it. The wall. Whether you believe in that kind of thing or not, this lady hit the nail bang on the head. That's exactly how I feel. We are together but not together.

It all kind of unravelled after that, although to be fair I do think it was on it's way anyway.

We've had a close family friend of my husband's die. That hit him hard. We've had him conversing with God ("because he converses with the "terbibilly" ill and mental people") and he's made his peace with him, but I'm to know that I'll never be a part of the family and will always be an outsider. We've had the mood swings show sign a little more and the trying to keep the house calm and silent upped. We've passed the MOT, but are now stressing about his driving licence. We've had the social worker come out to the house with the intention of being our social worker no longer, only for her to change her mind by the end of the morning (thank the Lord for that because if I'm truthful I honestly think her saying this on the phone to me was the beginning of the wall appearing). We've had the "Constance's mum. Do you have any lesbian tendancies?" asked - her face was a picture and I'll take that one with me to the grave (no was the answer if you're wondering lol). Oh, and we also had a five month puppy introduced to the family that I didn't know was being introduced.

It just seems to have been ten days of juggling balls where I've dropped a couple on more than one occasion. My sister is coming up to stay the night tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it. The fact she can get hammered on Lambrini is just embarrassing because she can hold her bevvy, but I am looking forward to the company. So I'm going to keep my chin up, go and get the polish out and hoover away this afternoon. I have taken a bit of a shine to the polish scent (see what I did there?) and now know that enough has been used when the dog is sneezing and crawling across the floor combat style.

Thank you for your patience, and for the messages on twitter that I've had to check up on me. It is very kind and it is most appreciated. You really are a lovely bunch of people. xx