This really upset me - but be warned, it might churn your stomach too.
Last night I went to bed early. Tuesday's are usually a really long day and I'm always ready for bed (although I'm usually ready for bed, Tuesday just compounds this lol).
Having been doing all of the mum things of drop offs and pick ups last night, I'd not seen Emmerdale - although I watch it when I can I can't say I watch it every time it's on. Putting on the tv in the bedroom I saw that the episode was being repeated so I just clicked onto that channel. Hubby came to bed a few minutes after me so we lay in bed watching it. He'd already seen half of the one hour episode so he was restless and bored.
To aliviate his boredom he went into worky ticket mode. Oh how my heart sinks when he does this. He thinks it's hilarious. It started off with him licking my arm occasionally. This does not appeal to me. It makes me feel like a stamp. He does it so that I can smell his breath on my arm. He finds it hilarious. He then started licking my pillow. Again, this I do not find amusing. It was clammy and hot last night so when he was bored of licking my arm and pillow he would wipe his forehead against me so that I was covered with his sweat. The fact that this was the most pleasant bit of his entertainment for the evening just makes what he was did next worse (and I apologise now), pulling back the covers (still can't do the "cue" or I would have written "cue"uilt) so that he could fart on my leg. This is not accidental. This is done deliberatley with huge effort going into it. I do not like toilet humour, I don't find it funny and I never have but this just takes the biscuit and absolutely disgusts and upsets me, but last night he went one step further. Trying to fart on my face just tipped me over the edge. Sprawling about on the bed so he could get a good angle to cover my face in his fart does not endear him to me. It repulses me. I had pulled the cover up over my face because he was sitting just above my face. He is a big man and knowing that there is no way I can move him makes me feel vulnerable and not in control, and he knows I can't move which just adds to the amusement. I just had to lay there with the cover over my face with him s"cue"uatting above me (naked my I add - just to add to the humiliation) desperately trying to cover my glasses in his fart. All the while he is giggling and laughing and finding this the funniest thing ever. I just lay there with tears. I didn't cry - there is no point, but I just had tears running down my cheeks. Then as soon as it starts it stops. The bit that confuses me is how he just doesn't get why I would be upset with him - he was having a great time, tears rolling down his cheeks and the hilarity from his behaviour causing belly laughs from him. "What's wrong with you?". There's no point saying anything because he just doesn't get it.
Where is this funny? This isn't "normal" behaviour even in lucid moments, so why would anyone think this would be received with laughter? Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the one who's had a sense of humour bypass. The thing that really unsettles me is not actually what he is doing (which in itself is enough) but the fact that I can't stop him. He's a big man, broad, tall, strong, and it justs reminds me that if he wanted to do something then I would not be able to stop him. He has the upper hand there, and I don't like that. I really don't.