Dear me. Where do you start? It's been about ten days since I've written anything, and if you manage to get through "war and peace" that is following you'll find out why.

The holiday started with the dog packed and the boot filled (thank God I managed to get a smaller dog cage, but why I bothered I don't know because hubby decided we'd take the big one anyway...) and off we went. 

It was a long drive up to the land of hills and we only managed to overtake two cars that didn't exist... something that needs to be kept an eye on I think. When we arrived, after a picnic on the roadside (you can't say we're not classy lol) we found the house to be mahoosive. Sticking the fat bird in the furthest away room upstairs was a genius plan even if I do say so myself. We had issues with a smoke alarm that was integrated with about another ten smoke alarms that went off twice, and you need to find the one that's gone off before you can silence any of them. You would have thought that the house was under attack from air strikes the noise they made, but at least they would have woken you up if needed. The washing machine was something you would expect to find in the Krypton Factor. It might wash, it might tumble dry, it might even do nothing, but occasionally we got it to work (what is it about me and washing machines?).

We walked, went swimming, ten pin bowled, celebrated Biggey's birthday, walked some more, played in the river, climbed Ben Nevis (well... the last third of the way, we cheated and took the cable car the first two thirds - thank God.) Hubby took a photo of me at the summit. When I asked why, his response was "Well no-one will believe you made it without photographic evidence". What a sweetie he is...

I decided to have a bath. It was the olympic size of baths and seeing as we haven't had a bath since before Christmas I thought it would be nice to have one. How wrong was I. They waited until I was submerged in the oasis of baths before telling me the lock on the door was dodgy. Hmmmmpf. So out I get to struggle with the lock. I wasn't bothered about being locked in this room. I was happy for them to send me sandwiches through the bathroom window, but hubby wanted to get it sorted. I managed to unlock the door. Got back into the bath and then nearly died of fright as hubby waltzed in waving a butter knife and a bottle of washing up li"cue"uid in the air. All he was missing was his cape billowing behind him. What he was going to do with either was anyone's guess, but doing it whilst I was in the bath with the door wide open didn't endear me to it. He finished his proceedure and then went "oh - you're naked". D'huh. So needless to say, with my wobbly bits now getting wrinkled (not pretty by any stretch of the imagination) I resolved to stick to showers from then on in.

We had a lovely time and came home to no internet and another broken washing machine. The no internet was due to the phone bill not having been paid - do you remember that scratch card hubby "won" on a little while ago? Well that scratch card cost £48 on phone bills and turned his "free watch" into an expensive gift when you take the bill and the returned direct debit fee into account. Grrrr was all I could say to that. Internet restored and we're all happy bunnies. What was the first thing he went onto last night? Gumtree. Dear God. I don't know what his next purchase of choice is going to be, but restrictions are going to have to be made me thinkst. The washing machine was old, it got me out of a bind, but it's now been replaced with a new one, with a guarantee - hoooya. Washing machines seem to come here to die, but it's spinning away like a good'un as I type - hopefully the rain holds off just a little bit longer.

Ooohh - you remember how Biggey fell at camp and hurt her wrist? I took her back to the hospital for her follow up appointment yesterday, and brought her home in a cast... Thinking I'm up for "Crap mother of the year" award - I'll let you know how I place lol.

All in all, we've had a lovely time that has had it's stresses and tantrums (his not mine) and ups and downs, but you know what? It's going to be those things that we all remember and laugh about and it is another memory for us to store away and think back on with a smile. It just goes to show you don't have to spend a lot to have fun and a good time, and sometimes the things you do that cost nothing are the ones that are the most fun.

You wouldn't think that trying to pack for your holiday would cause so much hassle, but in this house - nothing suprises me. I've waited for three days to get the suitcase out of the loft. Why don't I get it I hear you ask - well I'd look like Winne-the-Pooh caught in a tree stump trying to get honey if I did. Add to that the fact that cadet camp clothes came back today and it all has to be done even though most of the civvies weren't worn, the little darling had put the clean clothes in with the dirty ones and a pair of hiking boots so that added together means far more washing to be done than needed.

The next problem was having packed the toiletry bag. All done carefully, except for the fact that the seal on the Ariel bottle had broken and it was seeping out of the bottom of the bottle throughout the bag and I did not the irony when placing the hessian bag into the washing machine only to add washing powder to the drawer...

We managed to get the dog cage - so that's been a success and the dog loves it. You've never seen a dog like it for a dog cage. I had to buy extra treats for him for when we're on holiday, but anything for a peaceful life, so I got two bags lol. I've managed to get a "feed the fish for a week" tablet (in Tesco's believe it or not) and we've put it into the tank tonight, because I would forget to do it tomorrow, and they haven't died yet - so that's a bonus. I have told her though that if they do die whilst we're away we'll just dry them out for a couple of days and use them for dog treats like the bag of mini fish we saw sold as treats in the pet shop this morning. She wasn't sure if I was joking or not, and the look of disgust on her face was an absolute picture. I was joking, just incase you're wondering ;o).

The little darlings have bled the hot water dry with their showers, so before I can wash the tea dishes (really late with them tonight I know) and before I can have a shower (as hubby thinks I need at least three a day now) I have to wait on the booster button boosting the water - honestly, these things are set against me.

I'm looking around the downstairs and it looks like a hurricane has been through the house. The only solice is that once it's into suitcases and bags it will all be clear, but I can't see it being done for a couple of hours yet as hubby has suggestions of what needs to be done in the meantime, and cleaning the oven is not on the top of my to do list.

I'm going to need a holiday to recover from the holiday...

Whilst I'm hoping we have wi-fi in this holiday house, if I don't, I shall update you with the Family Trying's shinannagans when I get home - that'll give you all something to look forward too... :o) xx

Well we went to the dr's who threw him an on spot test... He's dropped a few points, and on things I wouldn't have expected him to. I knew he'd fail the President of America because he always has. He usually says Osama bin Laden... The other one that makes me chuckle is when they ask which President was assinated. He usually says President Clinton. His logic is there because he says "well he was blown wasn't he..." so I get the connection - although whether the dr's do I'm not sure lol.

They've put off upping the meds till the next time because they're not sure if the decline is down to a decline or down to all the hassle he's had over the past couple of months and the medication he's been on because of the muscle strain and the problems with his mouth. They want me to keep an eye on his driving though, so that should be interesting. He came out of the meeting high as a kite and decided to take us clothes shopping for our holiday.

Now then... this was fine when we were shopping for the girls. No problem at all. Yet he thought I needed more clothes. I do, but having your short fused husband trying to fit you into clothes are that sitting there laughing at the mere suggestion can be stressful. Some of the things he picked for me was like trying to stuff oranges into a tangerine net, and at this point I could have cheerfully sat rocking back and forth in the changing cubicle, but what did make me laugh is that the short playsuit (I ask you) which looked very pretty (I don't do pretty clothes, I like to be a bit edgy and different and not wear what others would) and a lovely blue colour was the smallest size he'd handed me. Yes I'll try it on, but don't expect much was my response. I did try it on. You'll never guess. It only bloody well fitted. If the shorts had been longer I would have had it. When I opened the zip at the top of the playsuit I laughed out loud. Seriously. There has to be a secret zip somewhere because there isn't a cat in hell's chance this is going over my knees, never mind my a**e, but it did. I nearly did a dance. I won't say I looked like Twiggy (more like a tree stump) but it fitted :o). It makes me wonder why bigger clothes from the same brand in the same shop didn't, but that's another issue that just niggles me so I'll leave it at that. I bought myself a swimming costume, and by this time I'd lost the will to live. This one promised to control my tummy (good luch with that swimming costume) and boost my cleavage (I won't need to worry about drowning, I'll have my own float system going on...) and it was black - so it was a winner. Littley and Middley asked if I was going to try it on. I said no. "If it doesn't look good, I'll just have to get into the water faster" was my response. Hubby bought himself some bits and pieces too, which was more of a hullabaloo than trying to get me things. I don't know which fairy fills his wallet, but I wouldn't mind having one of my own.

We got home in time for me to make a late tea, and I reminded him about the washing machine. I opened it this morning only to flood the kitchen floor - great... He went and had a look, after I reminded him to switch it off at the wall, and took out some fluffy gunk and I set it on a spin to see if it would work. Work it would not, so I have spent half an hour emptying it by hand so he can take it to his mum's and we can get the one that's sat in her garage taking up space. I have enough washing to do as it is, and the clothes I put on the line this morning that is soaking wet because of the rain when we were out has to come in so that I can wash it again. Littley offered to bring it in, but I said thank you and no because I had nowhere to put it. It was wetter than it was before the final spin when the washing machine thought it would work for a bit.

He's still to come home with the washing machine, and it's still to connect up but it's going to be going like billio so that I can do catch up before we leave for our hols. If the dog cage doesn't come tomorrow he's going to be stressed to the hilt about it, but I'm not going to stress about that until I need to. It will be here... It will be here... I'm looking forward to bed tonight, I will sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow :o)

This afternoon is our appointment with hubby's consultant. He has been distracted from this with the saga of his teeth and the pain he's been in, and he's still in a lot of pain because he was up and wandering around at 3am this morning. I had originally thought him getting up meant it was time to get up so when I pulled the curtains back and saw it was still dark outside it twigged that no, it wasn't time to get up. I let him sit peacefully and waited for him coming back to bed. His fettle had been so vile before bed that I thought I would simply aggitate him if I got up with him and this would further annoy him and cause him more aggrivation. He told me this morning that he'd gotten up and I just told him that I knew but I'd let him sit in peace.

Now the dr's fill me with dread. It's awful. They sit there and ask things and you have to answer, but I never seem to answer anything right for my husband and I always make things worse so now I just sit and smile and lie and brush things under the carpet. His CPN rang me this morning - this is how I get my things across without saying them infront of hubby so that they have an idea about how things are without it being said in the meeting. They also steer the conversation with hubby on the back of our conversation, and they're not daft, they know when he's bluffing them - although he doesn't know this.

When being asked things, why do I always feel like I'm being deceitful by answering them honestly? I feel like I'm being duplicitious and I'm betraying hubby. His moods have been all over the shop, but I did say that this would be down to the pain he's been in recently because of his mouth. Yes, he's been bad tempered, but so would we be if we were in the pain he's been in. "How's his memory?" Well I do think he's more forgetful. I have noticed him second guess himself. I've seen him look at me in a conversation with others so that I can step in and either speak for him or change what's been said so that he can understand. I've seen him knackered and not be bothered to do things like go to his friends because he's having a bad day and not wanting it to be obvious, so rather than go and show that he's stayed at home. "How's his driving?" Oh, dear God. I hate this one. He's always been a cracking driver. They took his licence off him when he said he didn't always recognise the traffic light colours. He had to go on a course to say that he was allowed to drive (and believe it or not, adding him back onto the car insurance dropped the premiums - even with them knowing he has Dementia. Go figure...). Driving is his life. I've noticed over the past few weeks a little shift in his driving. Like he's second guessing himself all the time. I know we have set up the handsfree on his satnav for his phone, but I don't know if it's so he's driving legally when on the phone (never, ever bothered him in the past) or if it's being used as a back up so it's keeping him right, even on roads he knows like the back of his hand. He pulled out infront of a bus at a round about last night because it was taking too long. I would just like to say that our seat belts work, as they jarred into our necks.

The driving conversations is the one that bothers me the most. Whilst if he's not safe to drive then I would want him to have his licence removed (how traiterous am I?) I also know what will happen if this happens again. We had the "If I don't get my licence back again, I'm going to top myself" conversation. "Don't be daft - course you'll get it back"... but if it's taken off him again then I really don't know what will happen. He'll be like a caged lion which will have a knock on effect on other things and I'm not looking forward to going down that route again. He doesn't think I drive properly, he doesn't like the way I drive. He's pulled the handbreak off because I hadn't put it on right (?), whilst on an incline. I had to put my feet on the breaks so that I didn't roll into the car behind me. When I asked him not to do it again I was spat at. I'm not looking forward to this happening anytime soon.

I don't think his licence will be removed anytime soon, but because they're asking about it, it concerns me that it's an elephant in the room and that ultimately it will be me that says "enough", because how else would they know about it? He's got Dementia, he's not stupid. I think it's a ticking time bomb that's just waiting in the corner.

He's out at the moment. I'm waiting on him coming in. He'll go and have a shower and a shave and a splash of aftershave and he'll be all spick and span. It's funny how on a day with an appointment he does this. "I don't need to shave today so why bother?" is the normal response. Like I say. He's not stupid.

Well that's the two teeth out. The dentist was lovely, she was so petite but by gum she had some strength about her. I think tomorrow he's going to feel like he's been kicked in the face by a Heifer. I think it's starting to feel that way now because the mood is black. Whatever I do it's wrong, and if I don't do anything that's wrong too. I got it in the car because I was just "sat there", what else I'm supposed to do as a passenger I don't know. He complained that I wasn't driving, but refused to let me drive. I'm back to being useless and doing nothing but sleep and sitting around on my backside all day.

At least the teeth are out, and the pain that he's in now is because it's getting better. I'll just have to grin and bare the aggro. He's still not thinking about the dr's appointment tomorrow, but they'd better watch the words they're using because he's in no fettle to watch his words. They're wanting to up his meds but I'm not sure if he's going to let them, and that's a shame because when we went to the last meeting when they'd given us the wrong date he was all ready to have them upped. He's either going to go and charm them or be the obstinate article that can't be soothed or persuaded no matter how hard you try. The last time he was in this fettle he just sat and laughed at everything the dr said to him, to the point I thought I would be coming home on my own.

We'll just have to wait and see. He's gone to bed early tonight and I'm enjoying the peace. How awful is that, but they do say "let sleeping dogs lie" don't they. 

Oh my God, the excitement in this house is palpable. You're not going to believe thise because I nearly didn't. Hubby has a cancellation at the dentist's at 4pm this afternoon. Shock. Wow. Phew. This means that we can go on holiday at the weekend without him having toothache. The sigh was audible lol.

I've also ordered the dog cage, so that's due here on Thursday or Friday because I didn't order it to arrive tomorrow because we have a dr's appointment and if I'm not in when it arrives then who knows when we'd get it... I've also just remembered that Biggey has her clothes with her as civvies at camp, and she gets back on Friday to go on holiday on Saturday. This means I'm going to be like Widow Twanky from when she gets home, and I haven't been given and E.T.A. for that yet, so Friday is going to be manic.

On a happy note I've lost 1.5 stone - YAY. I think it's all this walking about I'm doing, well when I say walking about I mean crawling on my hands and knees in this heat lol. I'll be honest with you, I'm actually enjoying the walking. Maybe not at the bottom of the hill, but when I get home I feel all the better for having done it, and then I'm not having huge portions because I don't want to undo the good work I've done from the walking. It won't be long before I look like a baby Elephant rather than it's mum... :o)

Tomorrows dr's appointment usually causes hubby to get a bit wound up, but that doesn't seem to be happening (touch wood) because the pain he's been in with his mouth has been a distraction. Also, he now has this afternoon's dentist appointment to get through. For a big man he hates anything like the dentist, he's useless with needles, and he knows he's going to have to be sedated, so that's taking the nerves away from tomorrow. Fingers crossed it all goes well and he doesn't end up with a full set of dentures...

Ah well... we left our lovely dog at my sister-in-law's with Middley and Littley on Friday night (tied in with the return trip of Biggey to camp). Our neice mentioned on the Saturday that he'd tried to get under the gate, but his head was too big for the gap (which filled me with various humerous visions). This set hubby into a blind panic about our holiday. We go away on Saturday. He had two people having the dog, his friend and my dad - but he hadn't told either of them that the dog was going to the other's...

He has sat and thought about this great escape all weekend and come to the conclusion that under no circumstances can the dog be left. He would probably try to return home like "The Incredible Journey" and the dog would be in great distress whilst looking for him (he is microchipped - dog, not hubby... but that might not be a bad idea...). So. Like the dimwit that I am, yesterday morning I rang the lady who owns the holiday cottage. I explained about the dog, he's well behaved, wouldn't be left alone, blah, blah, blah, and she "yes". Now, hubby is delighted about this. I am now thinking about the space in the car. The dog cage is huge, and he is only small, but he has plenty of room in it. I think I could fit two of our children in there (again, not a bad idea...).

This set into motion a hunt for a dog cage. Measurements were taken of ours, placed against measurements of other cages, cost factors (although because it's for the dog he wouldn't care how much it cost) and I can tell you at lunchtime this was fine. At 4pm it was ok. At 9.30pm it was wearing thin and I went to bed at 11.30pm with it having been the last discussion. He finally decided the one to order this morning - and I kid you not, it's the first one he looked at.

Theatre group is having a mad panic about everyone having their holidays (that we all wrote down at the start of the year) and the fact that people are away during the last couple of weeks rehersals for the show we put on in a couple of weeks time (us included - oops). So there was an extra one yesterday. He was in a good mood, so we walked down with him cleaning the dashboard of the car. He has a thing about cleaning and the car is no exception. We came home to find that he'd wired in a horn from the HGV he used to drive. Oh My God. We're going to be driving along and when he chooses we are going to play tunes to oncoming traffic... I mean seriously? It reminds me of the little black and yellow horn that you could add to your bike when you were little... He's also put the satnav into the car and with my help he's set it up to his phone so that he can take and make calls through the satnav. Now this is a great idea, it means he's not fiddling about with his phone whilst driving, but the fact he's got the satnav out of the box and has installed it in the car has me wondering. Does this mean he's starting to second guess his own satnav ability? I've always relied on him for directions because he really has a photographic memory of any map. Now that that's in the car on a permanent basis (prior to this it's only been me that's used it, and I think I can safely say I've used it twice) does it mean that he's forgetting routes or is it simply so he can use the phone. He tried all day Saturday with his friend (whilst on way to camp with Biggey) to get the two connected, and in the end at about 4.30pm I asked to have a look at it. They'd done everything right, but the only thing that needed to be done was to make his phone visible to the satnav. It took 5 seconds. I then asked him if he wanted his contacts transferred to the satnav with a resounding yes. So this is now done. He took me to the car at 10.30pm last night to show me how it works. He spent the next ten minutes ringing the house and confusing Middley when he hung up because she didn't know it was him ringing the house. He thought this was hilarious. Well it was a break from the dog cage...

He's decided petrol is too expensive (which it is) and that I should walk everywhere (which is justifiable) but yesterday had me in tears. I had to go and get something for tea, and dog food, and milk, and bread, and today's lunch etc, etc. Now it wasn't a lot, but by God it was heavy. I had one of the reusable hessian bags, and honestly, if I'd found someone with a donkey to carry the load up the hill I would have kissed them, maybe even the donkey. It's not a long walk, but it's all up hill, I am of the larger variety, the heat was horrific and for all it wasn't a long distance to walk home, it might as well have been a marathon. Having said that, I do feel good when I get home and throw the bag down on the counter so it's not all bad. I was almost crawling past the car in the drive with the bag strung over my shoulder like I was back at highschool and without realising he was in the car he blasted one of his new horn tunes. Just as well I was close to the concreate because I nearly hit the driveway like a tonne of lead. Looking up to see the tears rolling down his cheeks, holding his ribs because he's laughing so much and almost needing a defibrilator to restart my heart my first thought was "yeah... kill me now. I have to walk back down again in two hours time... if I'm still alive...".

So I'm gathering my thoughts this morning (just - nearly lunchtime) before I trek back down the hill to the bank, post office for bills, shop for tea etc, etc. and I'm thinking that in a few more weeks I might just be fat rather than "I can't believe this woman still has a pulse" fat - yay :o). Although, the response I got last night asking about the bike in the shed is unrepeatable - suffice to say, he suggested I did a little more walking before putting the tyres on the bike under such strain... he has a point.

I didn't write anything yesterday because there was no time to do it. We were up at 4.30am so that we could get Biggey back to camp - YAY (her being allowed to go back to camp, not having to get up at 4.30am). Middley and Littley had been taken to hubby's sister's house, with the dog on Friday night so we could have a morning without having to take them anywhere before we could start - this turned out to be a great idea.

It was a long drive there (3 hours) and we made it in time. We were too early for the Parent's Day bit, so took the car off and wandered about. Hubby drinks coffee like there's no tomorrow so we managed to find a couple of places where we could up the caffeine intake and the hilarity in one was worth the trip on it's own.

Hubby's friend was the driver for the day, and he spotted a coffee shop. I said to him that I didn't think it was up their street and he told me not to be daft. I explained to him that all the posters on the wall outside of the coffee shop implied it was an alternative therapy kind of coffee shop - they didn't believe me. "That's for the building next door" was the reply. Ok then... Walking into the coffee shop there was a sign that said "be nice or leave" - which almost had us do an about turn but they continued in their path. Inside was like an Aladdin's cave of Joss sticks, crystals, stones, and more literature of alternative therapy. Well we'd gone in so we were going to have a cup of coffee, we weren't leaving now we were so close to the Holy Grail.

We sat down and ordered (add two full breakfasts to the coffee order) and we waited. There was a woman in the corner of the room speaking to the lady behind the counter and she was saying "Eeeeeh. Have you seen this? It's guide dogs for those people what have Dementia", to which the lady replied with a "what's that you're saying?". The woman's voice hightened a little and she said "wey, it's about those people what have got Dementia. They're giving them blind dogs now to help them - isn't that a good idea?". Laughing into my coffee all I could imagine were dogs without sight trying to help my husband who has Dementia. I know what she'd meant, but it was so funny the way she'd said it. Hubby even smiled, which is no mean feet at the moment.

He started looking at pamphlets and came across one that said there is no illness. Illness is purely negative thoughts coming out of your body and as soon as you change your negative thoughts into positive ones you will become cured - oh, I forgot to mention that you need to have the necessary massage that goes with it, and not only is it a curing massage it isn't regulated by any medical board, it's one that the massager discovered and is now touting about in the hope that she becomes the new Jesus. Well, hubby and friend were choking on their sausage and tomatoes reading this. Years of pain, hospital appointments, drugs, upset and inability to do things were all their fault. Laughing the pair of them couldn't believe that if they were just positive thinkers that they would be "normal", and it's only £25 for 30 mins or £35 for 60 mins. (Due you only get partialy cured in the 30 mins one?... hmmm). He picked up the pamphlet when we left so that he could show his driver friend's other half when we got home. "Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts".

It was a lovely afternoon seeing Biggey, she is so happy and glad to be back and once we'd seen her at the parent's day bit we came home. The sun was out, there was a lovely breeze and the drive was enjoyable. We went and got Middley and Littley and had a cup of coffee with his sister, and more laughs (he was in a good mood yesterday) and came home, sat down and didn't move until bed time lol.

All three of them are still in bed now, it's just me, a cup of tea, the dog and peace - there's even no tv on... and do you know what? I'm not going to wake anyone :o)

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm sick and tired about stressing about money. I'm tired of scrabbling about in my purse for coppers. I'm tired of all the bills that I have to juggle. I'm tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul. I seriously think that this illness would be easier to deal with if it were not for me stressing about finances. I worry about how we'll afford things later when I find it such a struggle now. I worry about what happens when he dies (I mean in the future, not now) because if I struggle now, I'm going to be screwed later. I'm tired of arguments about money, because believe it or not, if it's money we're talking about he remembers everything. I'm tired of saying "no" to things. I'm tired of worrying about trips and spending money. I'm tired of thinking about Christmas months and months and months before it happens. I'm tired of worrying about birthdays. I'm tired of trying to make the weekly shop as inexpensive as I can, and still falling short towards the end of the week. I'm tired of feeling worthless because I'm struggling with all the plates. I'm just really, really tired. I never thought when at school or college that life would be so difficult. I was naive. You watch all the tv and all the films and things are sunshine filled and full of wonderful lives where things are perfect, and big reality check - it doesn't happen to everyone. It didn't happen to us. I sometimes resent this illness for all the things that have been taken away, and I don't mean material things, because those things never interested me. I'm resentful for the struggles it causes. It's like standing in a room full of mirrors and every reflection is standing there waving a bill of some description. Mortgage. Electric. Gas. TV licence. Phone. Car Insurance. House Insurance. Petrol. Shopping and anything else I haven't put down. You tighten your belt and you tighten your belt and you tighten your belt, but what happens when you run out of belt? I'm just so sick and tired of feeling like this. Just once, it would be nice not to have to add things up in my head to make sure I have the right money, but that isn't going to happen, and I know there are people worse off than us, and dear God how they cope I don't know. I just feel a bit like I'm standing looking at myself and I'm watching myself fade away. There's less and less of me there, and that's not what hubby needs, and it's not what the girls need, and to be honest, it's not what I need. I need a kick up the arse is what I need.

I've just been scrolling through facebook. During the winter I "liked" our council's page so that I could be kept upto date with the buses and school closures due to the snow.

I've just been scrolling down through my page and there is a post regarding free school dinners and school clothing forms. One comment beneath it. I wondered what it was so I had a look. "Doesn't pay to go out and work. Think I'll go on the dole". Glad I looked. We have free school meals and the school clothing grant, and it isn't because we want to be on the benefits that we're on, it's because of the benefits we're on that we are entitled to them. Both hubby and I would rather be out working and bringing in money like we used to, but that can't be done now and due to people's ignorance and "one size fits all" assumptions, they assume everyone is the same.

This is just one of the reasons that we keep what's going on to ourselves. We don't want the girls being subjected to bullying at school etc because of what's wrong with hubby. If he had cancer everyone would be "oh.... blah, blah, blah" but because it's an illness you can't see, and it looks like he's "normal" then people think they have the right to jump to conclusions, make assumptions and insult. I can cope with stupidity, but ignorance? Well, it really shows the individual who's spouting their mouth off for what they really are, and I don't have to make any come back for them to look like the prize turkey they are - they do it for themselves, and they do it well.